Many of us feel uncomfortable receiving praise because we don't want to appear egotistical and arrogant. Receiving creates a moment of connection. For example: Person A: "You are a really good cook". DelGreco and Denes adopted a research-based definition of a compliment as "a speech act which . 48 adults were asked to learn and perform specific finger patterns, which involved pushing keys on a keyboard in a particular sequence, while their performance was timed. Here are some possibilities for why receiving is often more difficult than giving: Defense against intimacy. If you think of something nice, say it. Prioritizing giving over receiving may be a . 161 votes, 141 comments. Person B: "You just haven't eaten Mike's food yet, now that's a good cook". The desire for praise is obvious: Being told you're not good enough all the time takes a toll where you want to live up to the expectations and fail each time. How do you feel receiving them? Use the Language of Acknowledging. In fact, you might feel "shy", "corny", "dumb", or even "ridiculous" when someone compliments you. Do you have difficulty accepting compliments? A 2012 study revealed that receiving compliments can help improve motivation and performance. Use these journaling prompts to help you discover your feelings about compliments and to dig deeper on what may make you feel uncomfortable. I hate recieving compliments. You . But let's go back to how YOU can compliment your man in a way that really makes a difference in how he sees you, and how attracted to you he feels. If someone compliments you The best way to respond is to think about why they compliment you, if sincere, use it to your advantage or turn it off completely. 3. Work to maintain good eye contact (don't stare-that's weird), lean slightly forward, and engage those around you with warm facial expressions. Ever since I started to really focus on receiving compliments in a positive way, I've noticed other people undermining the compliments they are given and it makes me feel awkward for them!. 3. The best way to respond is to accept it with grace when it comes to showing mercy or giving back if it isn't. But don't try to distract or insult the incoming message. Nevertheless, if you believe that positive reinforcement is better than punishment, you may be motivated to change this. Norihiro Sadata, one of the study authors, said in a statement, "To the brain, receiving a compliment is as much a social reward as being rewarded money. You become less insecure. You smile more. We all want to be the star of our movie. Ok, here's another question. Be Sincere While it may seem harmless to pay someone an insincere compliment with good intentions, it can actually do more damage. There are some guys who automatically think it's flirting, other might just smile and say thank you. There's also scientific proof that praise is an effective motivator. There are few things in life as instantly mood-boosting as being complimented. We use cookies to provide you with a great experience and to help our website run effectively. Frankly speaking I compliment others when I genuinely feel the other person needs to be appreciated for his/ her good qualities. TWO. Following the right etiquette is extremely important if you want to become more feminine, so make sure to practice receiving compliments the right way. This is not dignified. 338 opinions shared on Flirting topic. Genuine appreciation is when you tell someone they're goo. For example: If you believe that you're a boring person and someone tells you how interesting you are, you're going to feel uncomfortable with hearing this. His widely respected . It's quite the convoluted mess. Put me down or you will suffer the consequences. Receiving a compliment with ease and comfort demonstrates the character attribute of self-confidence and self-value. The most important thing is for it to be sincere. How do you do this? A smile is always welcome, and a "thank you" can never go wrong. Now, how you let her down real easy, so her feelings aren't hurt? Anna Bartter looks into the brain-boosting power of a compliment. A bit embarrassed to have the spotlight on me, but I would smile and say "Thank you!" Accept a compliment, even if you feel uncomfortable. Ask a question Sometimes asking a follow-up question can help you better understand . All you need to say is "Thank you" and smile! Complimenting yourself offers many advantages in the long-run. The easiest way to grow and develop confidence is to give and receive kind and . 1 - DON'T: Undermine The Compliment. Be grateful for all the beautiful things you have . In other words, you make it clear, politely so, that the other person is wrong. A good compliment doesn't have to be related to one's appearance, Sussman says. Also, when someone else gives you a . Before we start thinking about compliments and this nature of communication with others, I must begin by saying that it is something which can vary from person to person, their likes and dislikes, and the contexts they find themselves in. Why do we feel this way? Researchers believe that the compliments made them perform better. Do you feel genuine when giving compliments? Yet, learning to do so graciously can enhance your executive presence and relationships with others. Additionally, if you love receiving compliments, please share in the comments what have been the best compliments you've received to date. Put me down. Luck Disagreement Disagreement when we receive a compliment is when we very politely disagree with the person giving the compliment. Yes, it is possible because when compliments become excessive, this might lead to an expectation to receive compliments for all work that we do, and when the time comes that fewer people are paying attention to us, it might make us lose our original motivation and momentum to succeed. Here are five ways to respond to compliments more gracefully. If your compliment is rejected or deflected, don't take it personally! We'd love to hear them! Share but Don't Transfer the Credit. Why Compliments are Powerful. This is not to be confused with arrogance/ego or selfishness. Receive from Mother Nature. But you don't get burned to a crisp neither. Yeah, I'm right behind you. As I was leaving the office last night, I told a . He might have been flustered because he wasn't accustomed to receiving compliments of that nature and was caught off-guard. Remember that people are not obliged to compliment you on anything - if they did it . Around 70% of people in a survey associated feelings of embarrassment and discomfort with praise. There is more hunger for love and appreciation in this world than for bread. Given time, you'll feel it in your body, or you'll feel it. This leads to a vicious . Receiving praise can actually have a multitude of benefits. Let's say that a woman 'digged' you, but you don't really like her, that way. One of the ways prospective daters attempt to build rapport is through the use of compliments. 3 Tips for Receiving a Compliment. D., low self-esteem is the #1 reason we are so quick to reject a compliment. Truth is, most of what we accomplish is due, in part, to the assistance of others. Or they might stammer and stutter like your guy did. "I am sensing something in me freezes and goes numb when I'm offered a compliment .". Don't expect a compliment in return. Praise from one's partner can make someone with low self-esteem feel pressured to live up to . 1. We do this without even noticing. Answer (1 of 3): If you feel there is something good about a certain person then you should compliment them. If receiving a compliment makes you uncomfortable, you aren't alone. There's this weird mixture of wanting praise, being embarrassed by it, and thinking the person wants something in return. Fight the urge to minimize the compliment by saying, "thank you, but". If you minimize or completely deny the achievement . ONE. When it comes to giving compliments, make. They may cast off kind words about themselves because they don't feel worthy of getting them. According to Guy Winch, Ph. Alternatively, if it's not so nice, keep it to yourself. "Thank you, I really . Answer (1 of 10): > How do guys feel about receiving compliments? Say thank you If you feel uncomfortable with compliments, a simple "thank you" is all you need to accept the kind words and validate the giver. You see a positive shift in your productivity and efficiency levels. Commending someone for a character trait, an achievement, or the effort that they put into doing something such as preparing a meal can go a long way. This is the main reason why we rarely give or receive compliments. When men receive compliments, we feel special. Psychologist John Gottman most likely agrees. This is where someone gives you a compliment and you dismiss it by saying something that gives their compliment less value. The reason to do this is so you have a relationship with the part of you that freezes and goes numb. I don't know why but it makes me feel really weird. Here are a few ways to respond to a compliment: "Thank you, it makes my day to hear that.". The first two of these strategies create a problem. "It takes both sun and rain for a flower to grow.". Whether we're talking about eating a delicious fruit or making a salad: these are all mother nature's gifts. If anyone can explain it or feels similar No justifications, no change of subject. If your understanding of love as a child was along the lines of something you earned by doing things for other people (developmental trauma), receiving a compliment can feel like a debt or an . Rather than just telling someone they look nice, tell that person: "You look so handsome in that blue shirt you're wearing. Men and women are different in many ways, but there's one thing we all have been wired to seek: appreciation. People with it can really struggle with both giving and getting compliments. Taking a heartfelt compliment with grace promotes a more positive way of life. "I really put a lot of thought into this, thank you for noticing.". You learn more. ~ Mother Teresa. You look great, and you are doing . We've been able to find scientific proof that a person performs better when they receive a social reward after completing an . Receiving praise from others elicits discomfort when it conflicts with one's existing belief system. Take some time to sense that part of you. It just doesn't ring true with your belief system. This can help make sure that our compliments get the desired effect on people's moods, as well as help us get over that awkward feeling or trepidation about giving out affirmations. A compliment should make you feel good, and it should also make the complimenter feel good. It matches your eyes." 4.
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